If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
