I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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