Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
