he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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