I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
