um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
