yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize