it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
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You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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