it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
