So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
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Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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