I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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