): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think I sprained my soul last night
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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