ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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