Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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