where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's like God shit irony all over that family
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
