Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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