the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
