how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
