I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Four minutes until I can fart!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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