Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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