Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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