"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
