Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Two words: nipple clamps
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