Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude