Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in