Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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