She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
