I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
