is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
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I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
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He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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