He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
