oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
