Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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