Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
