Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
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This is the prime rib incident all over again
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
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I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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