Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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