I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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