He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
