this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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