So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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