someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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