Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
