tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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