Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Randomize
