Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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