Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
ttyl tear gas
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
