i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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