So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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