my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
