I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
...so i touched it.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Alive.
So much puke
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
