So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
