I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
