If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
