Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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