I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
