so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize