I look better un-naked...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize