Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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