He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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