More tranny stories later!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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