it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
