So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
