Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat