Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...