I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
my liver is dry heaving
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
