It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.